“No quiero que mi hijo o hija sufra”, es una frase recurrente entre las llamadas que nos entran al 116111 en, el servicio Zeuk Esan de atención a la infancia y adolescencia.
Hay una frase hecha que dice que “la adolescencia es una enfermedad que solo se cura con el tiempo” y la verdad es que no es así; es una época de cambio y construcción de la identidad como individuo.
El – la adolescente no es más conflictivo de lo que puede ser un adulto. Lo problemático es cómo nos relacionamos con ellos, ya que, la mayoría de las veces, vienen de ahí las discusiones y el mal ambiente en casa. Están creando su propio “yo” lejos de los brazos de sus padres y para poder formar parte de su nuevo mundo, precisamente los padres, tienen que hablar.
Según los entendidos en comunicación familiar, los progenitores deberían escuchar el 75% del tiempo. Quizá fuera buen ejercicio tomar conciencia de cuánto tiempo dedicamos a sermonear y a repetir el mensaje y cuánto dedicamos a la escucha plena. No hay que criticarles, ni juzgarles únicamente; dialogar e interesarse por sus inquietudes. Que os sientan cerca, que sepan que os interesan y os preocupan, pero sin invadir su espacio y respetando su intimidad.Es imposible evitar que un menor en pleno desarrollo no sufra en algún momento y no sería natural, por ello, lo ideal sería proporcionarles las herramientas para que sepan gestionar el sufrimiento y afrontarlo. Es otra lección de vida para la que debemos prepararles.
Un error frecuente que se comete es el ser sobreprotectores; la tendencia es educar desde el miedo a que sufran y, por el contrario, tienen que aprender a sufrir.
En la adolescencia, ya saben identificarse, lo que le gusta y lo que no y tienen una personalidad más o menos definida pero está en terreno pantanoso y ahí es donde como padres y madres hay que intervenir para proporcionarles una red de apoyo, confianza y seguridad.
Para resumir, durante la etapa adolescente lo más importante es hacerles ver que pueden confiar en vosotros, sin ser intrusivos, simplemente que estáis ahí para lo que necesiten.
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